Crusted Love http://www.crustedlove.com Wasting Time on the Internets since 1996 Sun, 13 Dec 2009 13:15:14 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.6 en hourly 1 Most Inadvertently Outrageous Thing I Said at the Holiday Party http://www.crustedlove.com/2009/12/13/most-inadvertently-outrageous-thing-i-said-at-the-holiday-party/ http://www.crustedlove.com/2009/12/13/most-inadvertently-outrageous-thing-i-said-at-the-holiday-party/#comments Sun, 13 Dec 2009 13:15:05 +0000 Administrator http://www.crustedlove.com/?p=167 “Does your dog get excited when she’s wet.”

]]> http://www.crustedlove.com/2009/12/13/most-inadvertently-outrageous-thing-i-said-at-the-holiday-party/feed/ 0 The Wife on Her Favorite Breakfast Food http://www.crustedlove.com/2009/10/20/the-wife-on-her-favorite-breakfast-food/ http://www.crustedlove.com/2009/10/20/the-wife-on-her-favorite-breakfast-food/#comments Tue, 20 Oct 2009 12:00:11 +0000 Administrator http://www.crustedlove.com/?p=165 “”I love eating eggs. I love aborting little chickens in my mouth. Is that so wrong?”

]]> http://www.crustedlove.com/2009/10/20/the-wife-on-her-favorite-breakfast-food/feed/ 0 The Wife Upon Hearing Me Declare That I May Have Accidentally Taken Two Doses of Medication and Therefore May Die in My Sleep http://www.crustedlove.com/2009/10/02/the-wife-upon-hearing-me-declare-that-i-may-have-accidentally-taken-two-doses-of-medication-and-therefore-may-die-in-my-sleep/ http://www.crustedlove.com/2009/10/02/the-wife-upon-hearing-me-declare-that-i-may-have-accidentally-taken-two-doses-of-medication-and-therefore-may-die-in-my-sleep/#comments Fri, 02 Oct 2009 12:29:43 +0000 Administrator http://www.crustedlove.com/?p=163 “Could you leave a note saying that? The wife always gets blamed.”

]]> http://www.crustedlove.com/2009/10/02/the-wife-upon-hearing-me-declare-that-i-may-have-accidentally-taken-two-doses-of-medication-and-therefore-may-die-in-my-sleep/feed/ 0 Seasonal Dessert that Sounds Dirty #2 http://www.crustedlove.com/2009/09/19/seasonal-dessert-that-sounds-dirty-2/ http://www.crustedlove.com/2009/09/19/seasonal-dessert-that-sounds-dirty-2/#comments Sat, 19 Sep 2009 11:49:29 +0000 Administrator http://www.crustedlove.com/?p=161
  • Pecan Balls
    • ]]>     http://www.crustedlove.com/2009/09/19/seasonal-dessert-that-sounds-dirty-2/feed/ 0     The Annoyed Wife on Me Having Left My iPone by Her Bedside While She Was Trying to Sleep http://www.crustedlove.com/2009/09/13/the-annoyed-wife-on-me-having-left-my-ipone-by-her-bedside-while-she-was-trying-to-sleep/ http://www.crustedlove.com/2009/09/13/the-annoyed-wife-on-me-having-left-my-ipone-by-her-bedside-while-she-was-trying-to-sleep/#comments Sun, 13 Sep 2009 21:19:34 +0000 Administrator http://www.crustedlove.com/?p=159 “This thing keeps vibrating and it’s not getting me off.”

    ]]>     http://www.crustedlove.com/2009/09/13/the-annoyed-wife-on-me-having-left-my-ipone-by-her-bedside-while-she-was-trying-to-sleep/feed/ 0     Actual Song Descriptions of Royalty Free Music http://www.crustedlove.com/2009/05/08/actual-song-descriptions-of-royalty-free-music/ http://www.crustedlove.com/2009/05/08/actual-song-descriptions-of-royalty-free-music/#comments Fri, 08 May 2009 13:17:37 +0000 Administrator http://www.crustedlove.com/?p=157
  • What are leisure drugs among friends at a house party reunion?
  • This week’s theme done by a financially desperate and crystal meth-addled Bobby McFerrin.
  • An experiment in the unholy amalgamation of dark electronica, and yacht rock. Brooding, yet dripping with sophistication.
  • Your gaze locks on his mustache. It never moves. Woozy piano grove oozes from the speakers.
    • ]]>     http://www.crustedlove.com/2009/05/08/actual-song-descriptions-of-royalty-free-music/feed/ 32     Sleep-Talking: The Wife Reports from the Field http://www.crustedlove.com/2009/03/28/sleep-talking-the-wife-reports-from-the-field/ http://www.crustedlove.com/2009/03/28/sleep-talking-the-wife-reports-from-the-field/#comments Sat, 28 Mar 2009 11:23:05 +0000 Administrator http://www.crustedlove.com/?p=154 You (extremely belligerent): I would like to order an orange juice, a side of bacon, and grilled potatoes. Do you need me to repeat it?

    Me: No.

    You: Could you read that back to me?

    Me: Orange juice, a side of bacon, and grilled potatoes.

    You: Do you need my address?

    Me: Yes.

    You: I live at 42 Farfagnoogle…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

    ]]>     http://www.crustedlove.com/2009/03/28/sleep-talking-the-wife-reports-from-the-field/feed/ 36     The Wife to the Doctor Upon Waking from Anaesthesia http://www.crustedlove.com/2009/01/24/the-wife-to-the-doctor-upon-waking-from-anaesthesia/ http://www.crustedlove.com/2009/01/24/the-wife-to-the-doctor-upon-waking-from-anaesthesia/#comments Sat, 24 Jan 2009 22:40:38 +0000 Administrator http://www.crustedlove.com/?p=152 The Wife: “Did you tell me you’d seen a lot of butts in your time but mine was the prettiest? Or was that a dream?”

    Doctor: “No, that was a dream.”

    ]]>     http://www.crustedlove.com/2009/01/24/the-wife-to-the-doctor-upon-waking-from-anaesthesia/feed/ 36     Sleep-Talking Brady Bunch Style http://www.crustedlove.com/2009/01/24/sleeptalking-brady-bunch-style/ http://www.crustedlove.com/2009/01/24/sleeptalking-brady-bunch-style/#comments Sat, 24 Jan 2009 22:32:49 +0000 Administrator http://www.crustedlove.com/?p=148 “Baton Rouge, Cindy, Baton Rouge.”

    ]]>     http://www.crustedlove.com/2009/01/24/sleeptalking-brady-bunch-style/feed/ 33     Seasonal Dessert that Sounds Dirty http://www.crustedlove.com/2008/12/22/seasonal-desst-that-sounds-dirty/ http://www.crustedlove.com/2008/12/22/seasonal-desst-that-sounds-dirty/#comments Mon, 22 Dec 2008 15:43:56 +0000 Administrator http://www.crustedlove.com/?p=144
  • Christmas Log
    • ]]>     http://www.crustedlove.com/2008/12/22/seasonal-desst-that-sounds-dirty/feed/ 33     The Marriage as Seen Through a Brief Exchange of Emails http://www.crustedlove.com/2008/12/19/the-marriage-as-seen-through-a-brief-exchange-of-emails/ http://www.crustedlove.com/2008/12/19/the-marriage-as-seen-through-a-brief-exchange-of-emails/#comments Fri, 19 Dec 2008 22:08:13 +0000 Administrator http://www.crustedlove.com/?p=131 My link.

    The wife’s link.

    ]]>     http://www.crustedlove.com/2008/12/19/the-marriage-as-seen-through-a-brief-exchange-of-emails/feed/ 30     The Wife on the Film Version of Marley and Me http://www.crustedlove.com/2008/12/19/the-wife-on-the-film-version-of-marley-and-me/ http://www.crustedlove.com/2008/12/19/the-wife-on-the-film-version-of-marley-and-me/#comments Fri, 19 Dec 2008 13:04:22 +0000 Administrator http://www.crustedlove.com/?p=141 “Maybe that’s why Owen Wilson tried to kill himself.”

    ]]>     http://www.crustedlove.com/2008/12/19/the-wife-on-the-film-version-of-marley-and-me/feed/ 36     Things Sarah Palin and My Pit Bull Have in Common http://www.crustedlove.com/2008/09/13/things-sarah-palin-and-my-pit-bull-have-in-common-2/ http://www.crustedlove.com/2008/09/13/things-sarah-palin-and-my-pit-bull-have-in-common-2/#comments Sat, 13 Sep 2008 18:08:15 +0000 Administrator http://www.crustedlove.com/2008/09/13/things-sarah-palin-and-my-pit-bull-have-in-common-2/ Both:

    • Look confused when asked a question
    • Like to poop on the environment
    • Are good at following the commands of their handlers.
    • Remain quiet on the birth control issue
    • Have extensive foreign policy experience

    Written with The Wife for Slate.

    ]]>     http://www.crustedlove.com/2008/09/13/things-sarah-palin-and-my-pit-bull-have-in-common-2/feed/ 0     How the Wife, While Morally Refusing to See Batman: Dark Night Because It’s Still too Early to Stop Mourning Heath Ledger, Saw Batman: Dark Night http://www.crustedlove.com/2008/08/02/dark-nigh/ http://www.crustedlove.com/2008/08/02/dark-nigh/#comments Sun, 03 Aug 2008 03:44:42 +0000 Administrator http://www.crustedlove.com/?p=118 “I just pretended it was Val Kilmer.”

    ]]>     http://www.crustedlove.com/2008/08/02/dark-nigh/feed/ 33     Three Things the Dog Yearns to Bite http://www.crustedlove.com/2008/07/17/three-things-the-dog-years-to-bite/ http://www.crustedlove.com/2008/07/17/three-things-the-dog-years-to-bite/#comments Thu, 17 Jul 2008 12:52:37 +0000 Administrator http://www.crustedlove.com/2008/07/17/three-things-the-dog-years-to-bite/
  • Balloons
  • The vacuum
  • My Penis
    • ]]>     http://www.crustedlove.com/2008/07/17/three-things-the-dog-years-to-bite/feed/ 33